Free

I didn't fall, never even thought I would. The air caught me, and I flew, gazing down at the burning ground. For a second I felt the strangest feeling - regret. Regret that so many people would die in the fire - probably, many already had. Then I remembered that many more would be saved because I didn't give in, didn't allow the Burning Bride to gain followers again. Eris was not at full power, and hopefully, she never will be.

I put this out here as a warning not to let chains wrap themselves around you, never feel tempted by power.

I spend my days flying off of the earth, gracing the air, only returning to land to get things to eat, or to rest under the sky.

Oh, and one more thing. If you ever hear noises coming from your roof, do not be alarmed, for that just means I have briefly landed, taking a break from my home high above the world.

The End.

Decision Point, Part V

Father launched a flurry of punches at the Burning Bride, his skin blistering each time he made contact. But he wasn't deterred - the beatdown continued, Father never letting up. Finally, he tossed Eris to the side, blood running in streams.

For some reason, I expected Eris to be dead - Father's punches had left deep wounds, as if he had cut her with knives. However, Eris just laughed again and slowly got off of the ground.

"He reminds me of how Ferratus was - we fought constantly, both of us spilling an equal amount of blood... In fact, that's how we met, that's how I turned from the Flickering Woman to the Burning Bride. We met and we fought, our raging battle creating the Great Fire of London. At the end he ripped out my heart and I chained him to a rock. Of course, after this there was nothing we could do but wed each other.

"I admit, I had to force your father into this role - he was much too good a man... Luckily he was bound by chains over his wife, and over you, the daughter he felt cheated out of time with. Before you came here I told him everything I was about to do. Then, I took his rage and made it burn brighter, and knocked him out so I'd have time to talk to you. His anger shall be used to free my husband."

Eris walked over to Father and pushed him to the ground. Then, while standing over him, in a soft tone of voice that didn't suit her, Eris said, "Surge, Bruta."

Steam rolled off of my father's skin, which was red and covered with welts from the Burning Bride's flames. My father roared with rage and suddenly a man wearing a suit made of raging, stormy clouds burst out of him, like a reptile shedding its skin. Blood pooled at this brute's feet, and he writhed with pain and anger. For a fraction of a second I thought I could see a tangle of incorporeal chains wrapped around him...

Softly, Eris said, "Ferratus, his fetters freshly forged."

In a voice strikingly similar to my father's, Ferratus said, "You told me that I would be free of my chains!"

"I didn't create these. They are there because of yourself, not me. But you can move. Together we can sweep a wave of fire, rage, and chaos across the world."

Eris turned to me, and a forced myself to look her in the eyes despite my revulsion. "It is time, Misery. I can tell you everything. You can live through this day. I could give you your father back. Just shake my hand."

The Burning Bride offered her right hand to me, the one with the coal-studded ring on it. That's when I knew what to do.

I reached for the hand, and for a second I saw triumph glint in Eris's eyes. Triumph that vanished once I forcibly pulled the ring off of its finger and put it onto mine.

I felt a burning sensation inside my stomach, but I didn't doubt my plan for a second. If I died, I would be free regardless. If I didn't...

Suddenly, the burning stopped, and I smiled.

"What- h-h-how did you-" Eris stuttered, appearing utterly bewildered.

Patiently, I explained. "Ferratus is currently wrapped by incorporeal chains - the chains that nearly everyone is bound by. He was probably always bound by these - you just made them physical, at the end of your fight. I'm willing to bet that Ferratus made this ring by taking one of his chains and melting it down. Both the ring and the chains are made of iron. Now, this ring, being forged by fire and these kinds of chains, has to have inherited some strange qualities. Now, the explanation is long, so allow me to summarize.

"The ring can only be worn by those free of chains, by those who aren't bound.

"Face it, Eris. I've won. Now, move out of my way."

Defiantly, she said, "No. I don't take orders from lesser beings."

I made an exaggerated sigh. "Well, in that case...

"Eat flax, bitch!"

My fist slammed into Eris before she could react, and then she was flying off the roof.

I stood there, watching, as Eris fell into the flames burning in the streets below.

Ferratus made one last, feeble attempt to make me give in. "Child, where will you go? How will you escape? The streets are burning. You can't possibly survive them."

I didn't bother to look at him. "One who is free of chains cannot be bound to the ground."

I jumped off the roof.

Decision Point, Part IV

Eris - no, the Burning Bride - laughed a high, cold laugh, a roaring sound that seemed to echo, rebounding, repeating...

Her presence was nearly obscured by the smoke rising from her blazing dress and veil.

"You- you're a monster!" I shouted in shock. I'd always thought Eris was a bit creepy, but this went farther than I thought she would go. Everything was planned, my moves scripted, as though I was just a puppet in another person's play.

"Am I? Am I a monster for wanting to be powerful again? Can't you remember, Misery? Can't you remember school? You dreamed of one day being the controller, being lone in command and creating chaos around you. We are alike in many ways. If I'm a monster... then you are too."

"No!" I cried out, revolted at the notion. "No. I'm not. We may be alike, but I'm not willing to go this far. At least, not anymore.

"I don't want to be in power anymore. Not now that I've seen what it can lead people to.

"And you were wrong, what you said about me not regretting what could have been - I do regret it. But that doesn't hold me back. I don't let it become a chain. I look to the future, which I know is uncertain and not set in stone. I look forward to happier days when I'm upset, when I'm sad, when I'm angry.

"That's what makes me different from you. You don't try to change what you see - you simply try to force that outcome. You are a pawn, a slave of certainty. You see anyone who tries to change what the future brings as an obstacle to climb over. That's what makes you a monster, that's what makes us different. You avoid the chains by making them. I avoid the chains by truly being free."

Eris appeared rather taken aback by this. But then, she smiled again. "Oh, but I have an ace in the hole. I think that not everything that you think is here is actually here."

That's when I noticed what was missing from the scene - what I had expected but forgotten as soon as I had spotted Eris.

"Father! Where is he? What have you done with him?!"

Eris shrugged. "Oh, I haven't done anything, other than knocking him out and leaving him at the bottom of the stairs. Don't worry about his safety - I'm sure he's woken up already. In fact, he should arrive up here right... now."

There was a clattering on the stairs behind me, and then my father, his eyes burning red, charged out and dived at the Burning Bride.

Decision Point, Part III

"I've heard that name before!" I exclaimed without thinking. "In the-"

"-in the email you received, yes," Eris said impatiently. "I would know. I am the one who sent it to you."

My mouth said, "What?" but my mind didn't doubt this - it was as if something I'd always known subconsciously had surfaced to the front of my mind, and I couldn't do anything but acknowledge it.

"I didn't write it - it was a chain letter originally created by my husband. I simply passed it on to you. I had told him what would happen in the future and he inscribed it on the slab he was chained to.

"You see, Misery, we are all bound by chains - some are just more physical than most. The past has a tendency to reach out into the future and strangle us. Events repeat in our minds, memories that never quite die... Many of us are captives of grief. However... not you.

"Misery, I admit you have always been a mystery to me - you don't grieve your mother's death, don't regret what could have been... you are truly free.

"But how? How could you do that? I have pondered this over and over again, searching for an answer. Many people would have broken by this point, and yet you haven't.

"Oh, don't look so surprised. I haven't been fooled by your act - you're about as breakable as a diamond. That's not a compliment. That's just the truth.

"I foresaw this day, far in the past, before you were born. I saw that you would be perfect to place me back into power.

"And so, I created a plan. I met with you long ago, on that day when the sun's rays shone... The moment I first told you my name I wrapped a mental chain around you, a small one - you wouldn't believe how much of my strength it took to do that. This chain ensured that when I sent you the email in the future you'd know what it meant, at the back of your mind. This, combined with your... ah, defiant nature, made it so you would ignore the warning, though you knew what it meant. That, plus something else...

"Then, I went to your father and made him propose to me. Afterwards I caused you to get yourself fired from your last job. I hear your erstwhile boss is trying to get the police to go after you. Fortunately for you they don't believe that you were able to cause that amount of damage.

"This wasn't a random act of cruelty on my part - I did it so that you wouldn't have to be weighed down by your job in later days.

"Before you got fired, I made your father invite you over to his house. I wanted to meet you again, take you to the Caves of Luminescence. There, as I'm sure you remember, I explained everything to you.

"Misery, you might hide it from everyone, but I know you like power. You adore it, you get giddy whenever you have the upper hand. Of course you would - poor little Misery, bullied for her name, her odd way of thinking, her rough voice and accent... Never in control, always pushed around by others... Now desperate to be powerful, for once...

"On the day you got fired for the final time, I didn't make you throw that desk through the window. I just gave you anger and the strength to act on it, and you did the rest. I knew that you'd be tempted, at least subconsciously. I sowed the seeds, as it were.

"Now we're here, on this roof, the streets beginning to burn below us...

"But perhaps you're about to decline me. Perhaps you don't feel the reward will be great enough... Or perhaps you think you can win this battle.

"Let me put this into perspective. I see your cause has no fire... Well, why don't you take a look at mine?"

Eris's dress burst into flames.

Decision Point, Part II

I stepped out onto the stairs, black as night, moaning under my every step. I climbed and climbed up the red brick building, determination conveyed in every action I made.

Finally I reached the roof, coughing as wisps of smog curled around my nostrils, covering my eyes, which were already starting to burn and tear up. I moved out into the open, and only then did I dare  move my hands away.

The roof was stained with oil and ash, fire still burning in some parts of it. Long, steel pipes emerged from the ground along with a great brick chimney, smoke issuing from every opening. Wrapped around whatever it could get a hold on were iron chains, rusted but strong. They clinked against the roof in the hot breeze. The red morning sun beat down on me in the orange sky, sweat starting to bead my forehead.

And in the center of the roof was Eris, dressed in a white veil and dress, appearing as if she was ready for a wedding. One of her gloved hands pushed the veil away from her face, and I immediately noticed that her eyes were bright orange, and her pupils were much smaller than they should be.

"Hello, Misery," Eris said with a catlike smile, gesturing to her surroundings, "and welcome to the Grove of Fetters."

Decision Point, Part I

Welcome to the end, my friends.

In the morning, I woke up to find the apartment empty, everything oddly still and quiet. Dust seemed to hang in the air, illuminated by the sun's light. It was clear that Father and Eris were gone.

On the table in the kitchen there was a single note, all crinkled up, though the handwriting was neat, each letter written with care.

We have reached the Decision Point.
Go to the roof.
I shall be waiting.

                                                          ~ Eris

I sighed. This was it. The final battle, the last stand, whatever you want to call it. A thought forced its way into my mind: I could die on this day. Eris could kill me. I considered running, considered fleeing from what could possibly lead to my death.

But I didn't want to be a coward. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not that.

Misery doesn't fear.

Misery doesn't surrender.

Misery doesn't give in.

I know how to win this, Eris.

Misery always knows.

Storm Warning

They came, both of them. Eris and Father - though I'm not sure if I should even consider them different beings anymore. It's quite clear that Father's under Eris's control. It's that glassy look in his previously striking eyes... It's rather disturbing.

Eris was the same as before - she pretended to be nice, but I could detect an undertone to every one of her sentences, I could see her eyes narrow whenever she looked at me...

Our conversation drifted to the recent 'heat wave' in the city. I could practically hear the smugness in Eris's voice. It seems she really thinks that what she's doing is leaving an affect on my mind. Of course, I'm pretending it is. The less she knows about my emotions, the better.

I showed her all of my apartment - it's rather messy, but I don't really care about what she thinks about it, or anyone else for that matter. Eris seemed to be interested in my books. She handled them with utmost care - I suppose that books are one of the few things she actually cares about, which is eerily similar to how I am.

Once we managed to get to a place where Father couldn't hear us, Eris - once again - pressed me about my decision. I had to forcefully suppress the urge to tell her that I'd never give in - after all, that would be contrary to the act I'm putting on. So I pretended to be indecisive, but leaning towards giving in. I could see she thought she knew what I was thinking, thought I was breaking down...

I couldn't help but think that maybe she believed me because I actually was, inside.

I asked Eris what I'd been wondering for awhile, but was too wary to ask. Why didn't she force me to give in with her telepathy or whatever it is?

Eris skirted around the answer a bit - it was clear she was uncomfortable with the answer - but I got the gist that she couldn't. I had to decide of my own free will, not that she couldn't try to push me in the direction she wanted.

When I asked her why this was, she just said, "It's something too... deep for you, my child." Then she smiled as if she'd made a clever joke.

Finally, Eris went back to Father, but not before informing me that the so-called 'Decision Point' would be reached tomorrow.

It's apparent what this means.

Tomorrow I join Eris or die.

At least, that's what she thinks.

I've thought, pondered, considered,  and now I know what to do. An act I might die from.

Watch out, Eris, because a storm's on its way.

Run?

I'm trying to ignore the people dying, but it's beginning to get difficult. Every day they burn, dying from fire and smoke...

I don't want to care, I don't want to let Eris get to me. And for the most part... she isn't. But there's something at the back of my mind, nagging at me.

I've considered running. These thoughts I don't want to acknowledge, but somehow they always come up, tormenting me in my sleep.

I've reflected over Eris and in her I saw... me. We're similar in a lot of ways. And it would be just like Eris to let people die with no regard for them.

They come tomorrow. I've decided that no matter what, I won't let myself become Eris.

The Coal-Studded Ring

I've delved through old newspapers, through websites about the paranormal, and through reports of strange things involving light, fire, and heat. 

Apparently nobody calls Eris the Flickering Woman anymore. I haven't seen that name anywhere on the internet. And not everybody calls her Eris. There are tons of names she's called by.

The Burning Woman, the Obsidian Lady, the Warden, the Dancer in the Fire, the Firefly, the Lady of Light...

And not every appearance is the same. Sometimes she's seen holding chains in her hands. Other times she's seen as a firefly turning into a woman. There are also reports of an apparently normal woman jumping into flames and dancing in them, enticing others to join her only for them to burn to death...

In fact, I might've confused them for entirely separate entities if it weren't for each report mentioning the coal-studded ring. Every time, it's on the woman's right hand. That's definite proof that every one of these reports is about Eris.

In one report, somebody took the ring of of her hand and put it on. They started feeling a burning in their stomach and melted, right there on the spot...

And more than that,  sometimes Eris is portrayed as floating, hovering on a cushion of light and something more.

One day, when flames illuminated the streets

I returned to my apartment late on Sunday night. Of course, I didn't tell Father anything about what happened in the Caves of Luminescence. How could I? He wouldn't believe me. Plus, this is something that I want to face on my own.

I've been thinking over what Eris said to me... I have to join her or die. That's what she told me. But I don't follow anyone's rules. I won't let myself be forced to choose one of those options. I could always run away, of course. But that's not the right option either. Running won't help me.

Father says that they're - that is, Eris and him - going to visit me this weekend. Eris wants to see where I live, he said. Like I believe that. Eris already knows exactly where I live - she knew that even before he told her. Eris isn't coming to see my apartment. She's coming to make me decide.

I can see her influence effecting the city - fires are starting more frequently than ever. The city park burned, cars frequently get overturned and burst into flames, and the pavement is too hot to even walk on it with sandals. The news people say it's because of a summer heat wave, but I know better. Eris is taunting me. She thinks I care enough about the city and the people here to give in if she makes them suffer.

I say one thing for certain. Eris might know everything that happened in history, a vague idea of the future and everything there is to know about Earth and beyond, but she doesn't know me. That's her weakness, and I shall make it her downfall.

Now, I'm going to do some research.

Apparently Eris has been hanging around this city for awhile.

The Caves of Luminescence

Eris led me out the door into the forest. We walked in silence, the twittering of the birds above and our dueling footsteps being the only sounds made as we followed the lone path there deeper into the trees. Finally, I broke through the veil of quietness and said, "Where are we going, Eris?"

"Patience, my curious child," was her response. "You shall see in due time."

"Don't call me your child," I snapped. I hate that - Eris is practically a stranger to me. And I was feeling particularly snippy at the time. Well, more snippy than normal.

"Ah, but all of those who wish to know are my children." We passed under a rocky overhang, cool wind blowing in my face as we walked through the shadows. "You are no different."

I forged on. "What happened back there? In the kitchen? I heard a voice... your voice, telling... no, forcing me to say yes to your request."

"Request? Who says it was a request?" Before I could answer, she continued, "You were being disobedient. I care not about what you do, about who you anger, as long as you follow my orders and never question me about them."

"You have no right to give me orders."

"Yes I do, child. You will learn that soon. Remember that day, long ago, when you first met me? I told you that you would have to make a choice eventually. The Decision Point. You've almost reached it."

"What will I have to decide? Or can you not tell me that?" I asked impatiently.

Eris was silent for a moment. We turned around a corner and stopped in front of a gaping cave entrance, the inside of it dipped in darkness.

Finally, she spoke: "I shall tell you that shortly. But first, some explanations. Follow me."

I chose to obey - though I didn't really have a choice - and plunged myself in the darkness along with Eris. We continued walking - I don't know for how long - and eventually we came across multicolored lights, coming from the infrequently appearing crystals in the walls.

Eris began to speak once more. "A very long time ago, I was not like I am right now. I was the single ruler of a single domain. I knew things, things that normal humans should not know. But I am not a normal human. I saw farther than previously thought possible. Past horizons and into the great unknown. I gathered followers by making deals with them. In exchange for knowing what I did, they would serve me, spreading chaos and disorder while still following my rules. I inspired the myths of Eris, the Greek goddess of discord, and from that, Discordianism. My followers were called Seers, and they did their job well. They caused fire in their wake, recruited more people into their numbers, and used up every last bit of their power until they simply exploded from overexertion. And yet, despite this, they were loyal. They did everything I said because I was their master and I gave them the gift of knowledge and power beyond power. Nobody knew me by my real name, Eris. Instead, I was the Flickering Woman. And I ruled over a domain called the Caves of Luminescence."

We stepped into a clearing in the cave, one that had many tunnels expanding from it and walls covered in glowing, luminescent crystals.

"We are in that domain. And yet, it is but a shade of what it used to be. It is but a memory. And yet, memories can be as strong as things happening in the present day. Especially when you see them again and again. The only use for the Caves is transporting me to and from places. There used to be a throne of crystal here, until it was destroyed by the brute, my husband." I had a feeling she wasn't talking about Father. "More than that, my Seers used the tunnels as well. Now they are all gone, and I am alone. More than that. I believe my husband has learned his lesson. I wish to free him from his chains, but he is much too old. I need to bring back the old ways. I need replacements, need followers again. And that's where you come in."

"Me?!"

"Yes, you. You will have to decide if you want to come with me and know all there is to know... or burn.

"Decide, Misery. My husband is waiting."

Eris held out her right hand, and I saw the ring on it - the one studded with coal, the one from my dreams.

Eris backed up and faded away in the cloud of smoke that was billowing behind her.

The silence was filled by a chattering noise. It grew louder and louder, echoing off of the cave walls around me, until the noise broke into voices, too many of them to count. The voices were all saying the same thing: "Boiling, brewing, rising disarray. Watch out everybody, a storm's on its way."

I then woke up on the grass in a clearing in the forest, smoke spiraling off of my skin into the too-bright sky.

Eris

I woke up to the warming rays of the sun being cast onto my skin. It took my eyes a minute to register the brightness; the blinding glare made it impossible to place the position of the sun, and therefore impossible to tell what time it was. The guest room has no clock, digital or otherwise; that is one of the things I like about it: the room seems almost timeless.

After awhile I realized that I'd have to get out of bed; something easier said than done, as the covers were so warm. I lifted myself to the ground and crept to the door, the old floorboards, covered with dust, creaking with each step I took.

I went down the stairs and into the tiny little kitchen, one built for only four, maybe five people. My father was already there - along with another person. I couldn't see her face, only the back of her plain yet regal white shirt and her flowing flaming-orange hair.

Even before the woman turned around I could tell who she was.

"Hello, Misery. I've... heard a lot about you."

Eris.

Her name almost left my lips, but then I stopped myself. My father didn't know of our meeting long ago. I'd never told anyone about that. It was best my father didn't know.

Father said to me, "Good morning, Misery. Ah... This is my soon-to-be bride, Eris."

I looked into her eyes - still oddly shiny, almost impossible to assign a color to - and said to her with a straight face, "I'm pleased to meet you for the... first time." I made sure to copy the tone of voice she used when she greeted me.

Eris gave me an odd smile, the smile of a person who knows you're teasing them, and isn't afraid to tease back. "I'm sure that we'll be very nice and cooperative with each other."

"Yes, yes. I'm sure we'll be best of friends."

We have so much fun together.

"I'm glad that you two are getting along," Father said to us. "I was worried that you wouldn't like her."

He didn't say anything else, but I could tell what he wanted to add onto that. After my mother.

Father thought I would be worried that Eris would become cold and detached like Mother had. However, the truth is that I can't project the way Mother was onto her. Around Mother, the temperature seemed to drop into the negatives. However, Eris seemed to make everything warm. A rough, intelligent warmth, yes, but she was certainly not cold, and especially not detached.

Eris asked, "Misery, would you like to maybe take a walk with me sometime later? After noon, maybe?"

I was about to say no - walks aren't really my thing - but then a voice cut through my mind. It felt as if a blood vessel in my head had burst. The voice said, Say yes.

No. I don't want to.

Misery, this isn't a suggestion, it's a demand. SAY YES.

I heard my voice say, "Yeah, sure. A walk. Why not."

Immediately, I felt queasy, the room starting to spin, almost. "Ah, may I go back to my room?"

"Without breakfast?" my father asked.

"I'm... not really hungry." Without waiting for his answer, I stumbled back over to the room and huddled underneath the covers until the dizziness stopped. Even now, I wonder what happened back there.

There isn't much time to think. I've already had lunch now. Very soon, I'll have to go take a walk with Eris.

I've just realized that this is a perfect opportunity to get some answers. But... do I really want any? There's something about Eris that's just plain unnerving.

One day, when we met again

I met my father again today.

The drive over to his house wasn't a very long one - I had got there in nearly an hour. However, I must've hovered outside his house for years, trying to decide whether or not to go in. I still hadn't decided whether or not I'd tell him about my job. I didn't want him to be disappointed in me...

Eventually I decided to go in. He's my father, after all... I couldn't just say I was going and then never show up.

He was really glad to see me again. We talked a lot about what I've been doing since getting out of college, and about stuff like the upcoming Olympics and the people running for president... It was nice to see him again. And we also went to the lake once more. To watch the sunset, like we did so many years before.

The whole time, Father seemed distracted, as if there was something nagging on his mind. I could see it in his eyes.

I worked up the courage to ask him what was on his mind. He said, "Well... You know how your mother has... passed away?"

I nodded, sort of guessing where he was going with this.

"Well, I've been thinking of marrying someone. In fact, they're already here. At the house. That's part of the reason why I asked you to come here. You know, to meet her."

My eyes widened in surprise. "You- she's- really- you're- she's here already?"

Father nodded. "In the attic. I set up a bed in there. I told her she could sleep in the guest room, but she was pretty dead-set on sleeping in the attic."

"Who is she? What's her name?"

"Well, she actually wanted to introduce herself in person." When I began to get up, he said, "She's sleeping right now. I wouldn't bug her right now. Don't worry, you'll see her in the morning."

That was when the sun began to set over the horizon. We turned to it, and watched the last light of day creep away, replaced by the darkness of night.

The Fire

There was a fire near the place I used to work, apparently started yesterday in the late afternoon.

Everything outside was burned to the ground - the trees, the plants, the desk I threw out the window...

They didn't say that, but I knew that's what happened.

The oddest thing is that the fire did heavy damage to the building, too. Holes were found in several places along the outside of the building, looking as if the material the building was made out of was melted away.

I'm worried that my former boss will try to blame me for arson. After all, it removed the evidence of the desk, and it happened right after I was fired.

I don't think I did it. Don't think I started the fire. But... I don't remember a lot of things that happened yesterday.

Could I have done it?

One day, when I was forced away

I was fired from work today.

I don't know what happened - one minute I was completely fine. But... then my stomach began to churn, and it felt as if there was fire in my gut, smoke tickling my throat, my skin seeming to blister, eyes watering, going bloodshot. And more than that - there was also rage. Anger. Boiling, brewing, rising disarray. I don't know what I was angry at.

My manager made the mistake of asking me to clean up my desk. It was, and I quote, an 'utter mess'. The words word out of my mouth before I had time to think anything through - "No, I don't think I will."

That was a mistake. An argument ensued - I can't even remember half of what we said, but I think there was a lot of swearing - and then the next thing I knew a desk smashed through the window and reveling in the feeling of power. Glass flung back, embedding itself in my skin. Drawing blood.

I snapped out of whatever trance I was in, and realized that my fears had come to pass.

Then, I was running home, the glass still in my skin, pain shooting through my body.

The question still runs through my head - why did I do that? What was I even thinking?

Now I'm at home, hoping that the police don't come and arrest me for property damage. My boss never actually said I was fired, but I'm assuming that's a case - why would I be allowed back after flinging a desk through a window?

Of course, they might not even believe the story - my desk was huge. It'd be pretty hard to throw it through the window.

But... the desk has to be there, on the ground. That would be hard to argue against in court.

That was one more rash action I shouldn't have done.

What am I going to tell my father?

Two Messages

I came home today to find out that I had received two emails during the course of the day. The first was from my father, and the second was from some person called 'The Chain Connector'. A fake name, obviously. I immediately dismissed it as someone trolling me, but didn't mark it as spam. Instead, I decided to read the email after I finished reading my father's.

Dearest daughter

It has been years and years since you have seen your dear father last. I, of course, have missed you. I know you're busy, what with your job and all, but I'd still like you to visit me sometime. Perhaps this weekend, if you can? I'd like to talk to you some more, if you don't mind. Thanks.

 I sent him a reply saying that of course I'd go. He's my father, after all, and I want to see him again.

Then, I looked at the second email.

THE CALL OF FERRATUS

FERRATUS IS CHAINED IN THE GROVE,
HIS FETTERS OLD AND RUSTED.
HIS WIFE, THE BURNING BRIDE,
WISHES TO REVIVE FERRATUS ANEW,
AND FORGE HIM FRESH FETTERS,
AS SHE BELIEVES THAT HE HAS LEARNED FROM HIS PUNISHMENT,
WHICH HE ENDURED IN THE GROVE OF FETTERS.
DO NOT ACCEPT THE CALL.
DO NOT VENTURE INTO THE GROVE,
LEST FERRATUS BE FREED FROM HIS CHAINS.
THE BRIDE CANNOT BE TRUSTED.

It looks like a chain email, except it didn't say to pass it on. Maybe it's part of some ARG or something?

I don't have this type of stuff. I've marked the email as spam. For some reason I feel unnerved by the email, even though I know that's just silly. I'm going to try my best to forget it.

However, it continues to nag on my mind, much like Eris. I'm sick of having to dwell on these things.

One day, when the fire of anger burned

I am not a very nice person. Indeed, people prefer to stay away from me, only talk to me when they needed to. I don't mind. I don't get lonely, don't fall into cold depression like my mother had.

I don't try to be rude. It's just that the smallest things tick me off. When those things happen, I try to stop myself from getting angry. However, it's so hard. It's like an itching along my spine, causing me to twitch and jitter. An itch I would do anything to get rid of.

Then, I just... react. I yell at people. I haven't gotten violent yet, but I'm worried that eventually I'll do something that hurts somebody. I don't want that to happen.

I've been fired from a few different places before, mostly due to my anger and a habit of disregarding authority out of spite. Currently I just work at a boring desk job. I don't have to talk to people face-to-face. And there aren't any rules other than 'do your job' and 'don't be a dick to your coworkers and superiors'.

I hope I don't get fired from this job, otherwise it might be hard for me to get another one. There are times when I think I'm not cut out from working under someone. I'd much rather do my own thing. But don't your own thing doesn't bring in any money. So, a desk job it is.

I go to work early in the morning and come home early in the afternoon. It's a pain having to wake up really early, but I like being home before it's dark out. Sometimes I like to gaze at the sun, falling back under the trance that had enchanted me so on that day at the lake.

If I could have one wish of mine granted, I would wish to be eternally bathed in light.

That's what I want.

That's my dearest wish.

One day, when life was reflected

Unlike my mother, my father has an intense dislike for cities - instead, he prefers to live in the suburbs. He has a house tucked away in a remote corner of the woods by his home. On the weekends I'd go there - I have a feeling that my mother did that to be rid of me, at least for two days - and spend the night at his house. There was something about my father's house that relaxed me, unlike my mother's home, which was always chilly and cold.

On the day I arrived at the house, I'd always go swimming in the nearby lake with Father. It was clean and clear, so much that you could see the bottom from the surface. Even more than that, we always seemed to have the entire lake to ourselves. Nobody was there to intrude. It was great.

One time, Father broke his arm - that meant no swimming. However, I still visited him as usual that weekend. Instead of swimming in the lake, we just sat by it, watching the sun set. In silence, I reflected upon life. This, by some coincidence, was in the same week when I had met Eris. Naturally, I thought about her and what she said to me - it had been nagging on my mind ever since.

There was something about the woman that was captivating, something that stuck in my head and surfaced at the oddest moments. It was like I could not forget her, nor the strange conversation we had.

I wished to meet Eris again - see her face, ask her more questions. Which I still do today. However, I had not seen a trace of her ever since our original meeting.

I lost myself in my thoughts, and before I knew it, the sun had started to set. I snapped back to reality and stared through squinted eyes at the sun in the lake's reflection. The sun seemed much brighter, much hotter than usual. I became aware of the burning on my neck once more. It was uncomfortable, yet thrilling. I hated it, yet I wanted to feel it more, wanted to experience the pain in more pronounced detail.

I don't know why - I don't think those thoughts often, and usually I hate all kinds of pain. But this pain was exhilarating. It was like a gift given to me by Eris - after all, it had started on the day we met.

When the sun set completely, an emptiness engulfed the pain, and it went away. Everything seemed darker than it usually was, more saturated and gray.

I went to bed shortly afterwards, my sleep filled with dreams of Eris. She was telling me that I could know everything. All I had to do was shake her hand. When she extended it to me, I reached over to shake it - however, I couldn't extend my arm far enough to touch it. When I moved, she moved, never letting me shake it. My entire body burned, feeling a fire that wasn't there. All throughout this I was acutely aware of the coal-studded ring - made of iron, looking more like a chain - on her right hand.

When I woke up, I felt like I had gotten no sleep at all.

One day, when a mother was loathed

As I have said already, my name is Misery. My surname is Londbery. It is a name that I hate, no, loathe with burning passion. What kind of name is 'Misery'? Why would you call a child that?

I suppose my name was a projection of what my mother was felling - misery, sadness, despair, the last flames of loving passion snuffed out from her. According to Father, the mood she was in started months before. She drew away from the world, from people, from life. When she had to speak to people - mainly my father - she had a chilly personality. Eventually she threw Father out, divorced him, all of that. Then she raised me alone - I only got to see Father on the weekends.

My relationship with Mother was a... strained one. We didn't get along very well after I started seeing my mother for who she was, seeing past the facade she put on. I started asking my father why Mother was this way, when did it start, did she not like me? He answered them to the best of his abilities.

Today I don't care about the reason for mother's behavior. I have come to realize that not everything has a cause that makes sense. Things just happen, without any rhyme or reason. The thing is, we - humans, that is - are quick to blame things, investigate deeper when in reality it's futile. It's like we can't comprehend the random, the chaotic.

I don't hate Mother anymore - just feel a sadness for what could've been a happy upbringing if it weren't for things outside of my control. Besides, she died two years ago.

They say she died of hypothermia in the winter.

One day, when the rays shone

Time and time ago, years before the world was a serious place, when the sun's rays enchanted me and filled me with young vigor, I met a woman upon a city bench when I was waiting for the school bus to arrive. I was the only one at this stop; the sole child at this corner of the street that went to Noonday Elementary. Her presence invoked a feeling I hadn't felt before, a feeling of wideness in the world, a feeling that made everything seem possible.

The woman regarded me carefully, stroking her chin with an eyebrow raised, as if she was feeling a kind of curiosity that marked interest but not confusion.

For a while we sat there, the woman just looking at me with interest. People passed by, looking as if they did not know the woman and I were there.

I was the first to speak, asking a question that had been on my mind since I had got there: "Who're you?"

The woman seemed pleasantly surprised that I had asked a question, almost as if she wanted that to happen but was not sure if I would. Despite her surprise, she managed to answer right away: "I have many names. Many different appearances. However, now I am Eris."

As she said that name, her simple gray jacket - unzipped so that you could see the plain white shirt underneath - appeared to glow with a gleaming yellow-orange aura. They vanished within an instant, as if they were simply artifacts of a wild imagination. For a brief moment afterwards it felt as if someone had shackled my brain.

"You look funny." Oh, what a charmer my past self was. Not that today I'm any better.

"What about me looks 'funny', as you say?"

I scrunched up my face, trying to place my finger on it. "It's something about your eyes. They're all weird and shiny. Where're you from, Miss Eris?"

"Mrs. Eris, to be more precise. Just 'Eris' is fine, however."

"Okay, just Eris. 'gain, where're you from? Where's your home?" For some reason, every time Eris didn't answer my questions, I got a tingling burning sensation on the back of my neck.

"Oh, around." That answer didn't help me much.

I balled my hands into fists, as if I could possibly do some damage to this tall woman. "Please, Eris, answer my question. I can't stand this-"

 "In the caves of luminescence."

Though the tingling on my neck started going away, my confusion just increased. "What's that? Where's that? You ar'n't making much sense."

Eris repeated, "In the caves of luminescence. Its meaning would be clear if you were one with light."

"No, it wouldn't," I argued, a familiar feeling of anger and frustration building up within me. "Trust me, I know a lot, and that doesn't make sense. It's just gib'rish."

"Light spreads far across the world, piercing through even the darkest shadows. Through this light I know things, facts and feelings." Eris smiled joylessly. "I know things that are best left unknown. Feelings you don't want to feel. And I'm fine."

"What do you-"

"Time is ticking, you know. Time until the choice. Time until you're at the Decision Point. What do you want to feel, Misery? What sensation do you want burning through your pretty little skin?"

I spluttered, "I don't- How did-"

"Your bus has arrived."

I looked away from Eris. Sure enough, a yellow school bus had pulled up to the curb of the street, right in front of the bench. I turned back to look at Eris one last time, but instead all I saw was a fading outline of her body, of her facial features. She was smiling broadly.

For the rest of the day and some time after that, I felt the burning on my neck, an ethereal sunburn that seemed to never heal. It only got a little better when, years later, I discovered a wonderful religion called Discordianism. It's only half-serious, but since the day when I converted, my neck has been feeling a little better. I suspect that the woman I met was a Discordian as well - that would make sense, what with the name she went by and the non-answers she gave to my questions.

I long to meet the woman named Eris once more. Then, I could get some real answers.