I am not a very nice person. Indeed, people prefer to stay away from me, only talk to me when they needed to. I don't mind. I don't get lonely, don't fall into cold depression like my mother had.
I don't try to be rude. It's just that the smallest things tick me off. When those things happen, I try to stop myself from getting angry. However, it's so hard. It's like an itching along my spine, causing me to twitch and jitter. An itch I would do anything to get rid of.
Then, I just... react. I yell at people. I haven't gotten violent yet, but I'm worried that eventually I'll do something that hurts somebody. I don't want that to happen.
I've been fired from a few different places before, mostly due to my anger and a habit of disregarding authority out of spite. Currently I just work at a boring desk job. I don't have to talk to people face-to-face. And there aren't any rules other than 'do your job' and 'don't be a dick to your coworkers and superiors'.
I hope I don't get fired from this job, otherwise it might be hard for me to get another one. There are times when I think I'm not cut out from working under someone. I'd much rather do my own thing. But don't your own thing doesn't bring in any money. So, a desk job it is.
I go to work early in the morning and come home early in the afternoon. It's a pain having to wake up really early, but I like being home before it's dark out. Sometimes I like to gaze at the sun, falling back under the trance that had enchanted me so on that day at the lake.
If I could have one wish of mine granted, I would wish to be eternally bathed in light.
That's what I want.
That's my dearest wish.
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